Return To Honor

In my second book, Return To Honor, I write about such topics as “Courage,” “Truth,” “Attitude,” and other core values that I draw upon to illustrate how one can liberate him or herself from the traps of moral weakness, illusion and “victim” mentalities that keep us stuck on the never-ending treadmills of life. In the first chapter, I refer to Audie Murphy, until recently considered the “most decorated hero” in U.S. military history.

Today I learned of the death of another American hero, Col. Robert Howard, the only person in history to be nominated for the Medal Of Honor three times, for three separate acts of the ultimate level of heroism. (You can only receive one per lifetime.) Bob Howard also earned eight Purple Hearts (for injuries sustained in battle),  and numerous other medals such as the Silver Star, the Bronze Star and so forth. If my count of what was listed is correct, he surpassed the total of Audie Murphie’s awards, which is almost inconceivable. To earn even a Silver Star alone takes an act of courage “above and beyond” the call of duty, and the Medal Of Honor itself is almost impossible to earn. Over 60% of those who did received theirs posthumously.

What compels me to write about Col. Howard at this point is to point out that nothing is impossible. One does not have to be a battlefield hero to be a “hero.” As the beloved “Doctor of Love,” Leo Buscaglia once wrote, “For most of us there will be no tickertape parade…no awards banquets or medals handed out for the heroic deeds we’ve done. But if we only knew the ripple effects that resulted from even the simplest acts of love and kindness we’ve done in our lives, we’d all be ‘heroes’.”

That may seem not so significant, but I can tell you for certain, and a good number of movies have portrayed it, and books have depicted it, that in fact a simple act of kindness can indeed change someone’s life. Consider the classic film, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” starring Jimmy Stewart, or the recent hit “Blindside,” starring Sandra Bullock, both of which were based on true stories. There are many more, and many that we’ll never know about…but lives have changed and have been saved over acts of kindness that may not take the courage and sacrifice of people like Col. Howard and Audie Murphy, but the long-term benefits can actually be just as great.

“If we only knew,” as Leo wrote, “the ripple effect” that our kindness and our courage to act kindly toward others has created. If we had the chance to step back and see the good that we’ve done, it would most certainly prove to have been worth all the difficulties, the challenges and heartaches that we have endured.

Never think that your life hasn’t counted for much. If you’ve done even the smallest thing to help someone else, to love someone else, or to do anything kind for someone that enabled them to change something troubling to them, then you have been a “hero.”

Don Kirchner
Sedona, Arizona

We live in a time where everything seems upside down and backwards. Having just elected a U.S. President by the largest margin of popularity in recent history with slogans of positive change and “Yes, we can,” we naively assumed that significant change would be forthcoming any day now.
A lot of things have changed, all right, but not many of them appear to have been all that positive…at least not for middle-class Americans. Not being particularly political in nature, I was nonetheless hopeful that something positive would come from the millions contributed to, raised and spent on both campaigns, and I have suffered through like everyone else the billions spent on bailouts, executive bonuses and comprehensive healthcare reform that doesn’t seem to amount to anything truly beneficial for the majority of us. What sort of “positive change” has taken place so far, and how long do we wait for the pieces to fit together so that the simplest real changes might come? Is it so hard, really?
Despite some ridiculously simple solutions that have been offered by mathematicians and economists who seem to have a lot of common sense, still things keep getting more complicated and elusive, and we appear to have yet another “runaway” government out of touch with reality and with us…their true employers. Once again we find ourselves on yet another roller coaster ride, over which it feels like we have no control.
But we do have control. We just don’t realize it because we don’t understand the sheer simplicity of how control works. It’s not about opinion polls, elections or chains of command. It’s about setting higher standards for ourselves that can give us each a firm foundation in our own lives first, then by example and demonstration greater and greater impact and influence on those we deal with every day. Gradually, those standards can become immutable and non-negotiable, such that it becomes clear who does and who does not embrace those standards.
The standards I’m talking about are not philosophical, esoteric or theological. They are the core principles and values that made this country, and some past civilizations, great. Among them are moral values such as telling the truth, courage, honesty, respecting others and valuing one’s own self. There are others, but if we can get even a few of those down, we can change our lives, and influence others to change theirs. Ultimately, that will change the world, and bring sensibility and sanity back.
I know that seems a bit altruistic and far-fetched, but it’s true. We just lost touch with the common and simple values we all know in our hearts are right and true, no matter what philosophy or religion one embraces. We may not be able to change radical terrorists, but we can gradually change the people we deal with every day, and in turn they can impact more of their contacts until eventually people are treating one another respectfully. It can happen…and yes, we can…make a difference in the world, one person at a time.

Don Kirchner
Sedona, AZ

A front page feature article in today’s Sunday paper described the rising interest on the part of aging Americans to join the Peace Corps and “make a difference” in the world. God knows that the staving kids in Bosnia, Bulgaria and people living less fortunately in all parts of the world need and well deserve all the help they can get. At the same time, however, so do millions of our own people right here in America.

Believe it or not, we have many “third-world” living conditions within our own borders. Some of them are Native American reservations, which to me is an ironic twist of fate for those whose ancestors were here first, and many more who are in the streets of many of our biggest cities. Of those, a huge percentage are people who have either done time in prisons and jails of America, or are destined to if their attitudes and lifestyles don’t change soon.

Then there are the families and the children of those who are or have been incarcerated. When one considers that 2.6 million people are locked up across America, and they impact at least 5 to 10 people on the outside, that number alone is staggering to consider. It exceeds the entire populations of some of those third-world countries who “need our help”.

So, what about us? What about our people? What about the children growing up in neighborhoods where the wallpaper on whatever rooms they have to sleep in are constantly illuminated with the red and blue flashing lights of the police cars outside, and whose playgrounds are streets filled with drug addicts and dealers, prostitutes and police SWAT teams and helicopters circling overhead? How do they fend for themselves, and what hope do they have for a better way to live? Who’s making a difference in their lives?

In the early 1980’s, Jerome Miller became the Director of the Massachusetts Department of Corrections. In an unprecedented move, Mr. Miller closed all but the most essential juvenile detention centers in his state, and put the money saved into pro-active programs to mentor and provide simple caring to juveniles in the form of college students paid to “hang out” with juveniles as “big brothers” and “big sisters.” The rate of juvenile crime in Massachusetts during those years dropped by over 50%.

As someone who has dedicated much of the past decade or so to “making a difference” right here at home, I commend anyone wishing to do anything that makes a difference in the lives of others, and I urge anyone wishing to do so to look into juvenile diversion programs and anything having to do with “re-entry” or “aftercare” of former felons. It’s not a bad or scary thing, because every former offender (and they are “former” until they re-offend), is really just a terrified little kid in a scarred, tattooed grown-up body who made the wrong, but often only choices, that they believed were available to them early in life.

You want to make a difference in the world? Start right here at home…and right now. All it takes is a modicum of compassion, a willingness to understand, and a little courage to overcome preconceived notions and judgments, and making an effort to learn more about it. Just that much will reduce crime in this country by as much as 10%, I can promise you.

As a noted correctional specialist once wrote to me, “For altruists who want to save lives, that’s a lot of lives. To economists who want to save money, that’s a lot of money.”

Google “Prisoner Re-entry” or “Prisoner Aftercare Programs” in your state for more information than you can likely absorb in the two years required to serve in the Peace Corps, or check out the large number of affiliates and resources appearing on this blog site, and you may just find your “next calling” in life.

Don Kirchner

www.ReturnToHonor.org